Thursday, July 15, 2010

new reflections/ new projects

A lot of my reflections are unconscious looking back at memories
As I have gotten older my work becomes less and less rational and even more emotional and empirical
I interested in the objectness of even 2d things. I want my experiences to be tangible – for me and the viewer
If I show work that I think is fantastic and it shows and explains certain things about struggle to others than its all good – but the second I make things for pleasure, its about ego, and this causes problems in my studio practice and exhibitions.
I think expression is fatal – crucial – self-rewarding
I’m figuring out the past by working today – traveling behind things
I equate problems or loss of control with fragmentation – hence collage, ripping, binding, sorting etc.
Emotional and Psychological pain- needles are used to repair damage and tears –
They aren’t aggressive- they bind.

I’m not so interested in fear – really interested in hope.
I’m not a zombie – I like life – I think considering the nature of human suffering/life super important.

I carry my feelings in my body – almost all of my work uses or references the body. beds, urns, parts, milagros, ex-votos,limbs
The things I found mysterious as a child still absorb my interests – as I get older I’m interested in the things I’ve always been compelled by – birds, trees, faces, eyes, hands, (longevity of reflection as journey)
Certain literary works – the love song of J. Alfred, - ballad of the sad café
I believe in reparations and mutability. I believe all the great questions aren’t easily answered.
Don’t avoid negativity – recognize it – Death has really taught me more than anything.
I don’t really privilege style or materials – except from memories, nostalgia I equate with trivia unless its distilled through me

I’m interested in what survival means – how did I survive? The whole one –legged dog
And its pluck?

I like the fragility of paper resistance- folding, tearing. I find it in human interaction
Screaing, whispering, insisting…I love arranging chaos – I love being disoriented.